A Tale of Rebellion and Vanity
The Book of Samuel (2 Samuel 18:18) tells us that Absalom, the rebellious son of King David, built a monument to himself and named it Absalom’s Monument, or Yad Avshalom. This ancient rock-cut tomb with a conical roof was named after Absalom because he said, “I have no son to carry on my name.”
The tomb, also called Absalom’s Pillar, still stands in the Kidron Valley, and for centuries, Jews, Christians, and Muslims have come to throw stones at it. It is said that residents of Jerusalem still take their children to the tomb to teach them about what became of a rebellious son.
The Legacy of Stones: Teaching Through Tradition
There’s a powerful lesson in this story that transcends generations: We do not honor people who seek their own honor; for to seek your own honor is dishonorable.
This ancient lesson is especially relevant in the age of YouTube, Instagram, WhatsApp, and TikTok, where self-promotion and the pursuit of fame are rampant. Every day, we see social media posts proclaiming personal victories and achievements. This phenomenon is not limited to social media; it permeates professional environments as well.
On the client side, I've had the honor of working with great frontline managers and hourly employees at companies like IBM, FedEx, Tenneco, American Airlines, ExxonMobil, and Danone who never sought the spotlight. Instead, they consistently recognized the efforts of their team and encouraged them to share in the success. Their humility and genuine leadership earned the respect and admiration of everyone in the office, factory, refinery or field location where they worked, a stark contrast to those who constantly seek their own honor.
Modern Echoes: The Age of Self-Promotion
Consider how this ancient wisdom contrasts with contemporary behaviors:
- A mediocre PR leader celebrates nine years in her role, with sycophants fawning over her scant achievements.
- In a public forum, where reputations are built and shattered, a senior PR executive nominates a duplicitous leader he privately ridicules for a major industry award, lavishing her with praise. It's a paradoxical move that leaves industry insiders and colleagues bewildered and wondering about his true motivations.
- Others rush online to be the first to post about their attendance at a gathering of "the most senior communications and public relations leaders," eager to be seen despite their actual status.
- Industry award events, key revenue drivers for trade media, hype individuals, agencies, and companies with flashy ceremonies and public accolades. Glamorous photos of agency teams with awards appear against a backdrop of trade media logos—the same media paid to decide who "plays" and wins.
- The most decorated professional in our field, reminiscent of "The Most Interesting Man in the World" from the Dos Equis spoof, is named for yet another award — chosen from a predictable pool of usual suspects.
As a leader in public relations, I've attended and helped lead dozens of industry awards events through the years. I'll admit the atmosphere is always electric, filled with anticipation and excitement. As the evenings progress, however, I can't help but notice how some individuals are more focused on being seen and recognized than on the actual achievements being celebrated. One year, I was stunned when a highly recognized PR agency scion rushed to the stage to grasp from the clutches of his team an award they had won, Their night became his. It was a stark reminder of how easily the pursuit of personal glory can overshadow genuine contributions.
True Honor: Stories of Selfless Service
There is a difference between self-promotion and advancing the needs of others. There is a difference, too, between reputation and character. Those who hunger for visibility, power, and recognition, or who relentlessly campaign for awards, always find favor in a small circle of industry leaders who reward them.
What do we truly gain from these displays of self-promotion? Do they lead to genuine respect and admiration, or do they merely feed our egos and personal brands? The story of Absalom reminds us that seeking our own honor is not a path to true greatness. Instead, true honor comes from humility, service, and the recognition of others.
Lessons for Leaders: Building a Culture of Humility
To mark the 80th anniversary of the D-Day landings in Normandy, American Airlines and its partners – TriWest Healthcare Alliance, Gary Sinise Foundation, Robert Irvine Foundation, and Old Glory Honor Flight – will fly 70 World War II veterans to France to honor them for their service and sacrifice.
Among the many heroes on that flight will be U.S. Navy veteran Felix Maurizio, who was on a landing craft that deployed troops onto Omaha Beach on D-Day. One of the soldiers he dropped off was his brother, Sal, who served in an Army medical unit. Frank Perry, who served in the Army Air Corps as a turret gunner in central Europe in March 1945, and later served 40 years with Piedmont Airlines, a company acquired by American, will also be on board.
Men and women like the Maurizio brothers, Perry, millions of others who served with them, and more than 400,000 who died in the war, are revered not for their pursuit of personal glory, but for their selfless commitment to serving others. Truly, they were The Greatest Generation.
As a consultant on leadership and strategic employee engagement, I’ve had the privilege of working with.truly exceptional leaders. One CEO in the manufacturing industry I worked with regularly volunteered his time and resources to support community projects world-wide. He never sought recognition for his contributions, yet his actions inspired countless employees to follow his example. His quiet dedication to service created a culture of humility and collective success within the company.
In the corporate world, the most effective leaders are those who lift others up, rather than those who constantly seek the spotlight for themselves. They create environments where employees feel valued and empowered, leading to greater engagement and productivity. When leaders focus on the success of their team rather than their own accolades, they build a culture of trust and respect.
Reflect and Act: Are You Lifting Others Up?
As we navigate our careers and personal lives, let us remember the lesson of Absalom. He betrayed his father and lost his life trying to overthrow him. The irony is that Absalom wasn’t even buried in the tomb built to aggrandize his tragic life. He was laid in a pit in the forest of Ephraim, and a large heap of rocks was piled on him— his legacy ultimately separated from the grand monument he created for himself. "Mann Tracht, Gott Licht," is an old Yiddish adage that means, "Man Plans, and God Laughs."
Reflecting on my own journey, I’ve found that the most fulfilling moments come not from personal accolades but from lifting others up and contributing to their success. It’s a lesson I strive to remember every day, ensuring that my actions are driven by genuine service rather than the pursuit of recognition.
Let us strive to honor others and seek fulfillment through meaningful contributions rather than self-promotion. True honor is not something that can be proclaimed or awarded; it is earned through our actions and the impact we have on those around us.
Reflect on your motivations and actions: Are you seeking your own honor, or are you lifting others up? True greatness lies in the latter, and that is the legacy we should all aspire to leave behind.
Absalom's Monument in the Kidron Valley
